So really, this post isn’t just for 1 year olds, but if your baby is younger than 1 then what I’m about to say is not completely relevant because nutritionally they will still need a little something extra. Some of the tips for actually getting them to move away from the breast will still be relevant, but please speak with a medical professional about how you should be supplementing.
Annyywayyy, to start, I will say that women wean for many different reasons, and it means different things for different people. Some are trying to completely wean while others are trying to just cut out a feeding or two. And there is no rule that says you have to wean baby at one because they can start drinking milk. In fact it is recommended that you continue breastfeeding until AT LEAST 2! But wherever you happen to be in your journey, hopefully this post can help you get where you are trying to be in your nursing relationship.
Start Gradually
First, if you are on the weaning journey, I would HIGHLY recommend that you start gradually! This is not only for you and your baby and the emotional struggles that you can go through as you start cutting feedings out, but also for your milk supply. If you just suddenly cut out a bunch of feedings, you will be more prone to clogged ducts and mastitis and can be really painful. So, I would definitely suggest doing it gradually.
If there is another reason why you need to quickly wean then this is not the best post for you. There are different rules that apply when you have to wean abruptly. La Leche League is a great resource for information and questions if you need help in that area.
Give More Cuddles & Extra Attention
Nursing is about more than just milk intake for babies. It is an excuse to be close to mom, to touch her, smell her, feel safe and so on. So, when you start to cut feedings out, make sure to give more cuddles and extra attention to them so that they still feel that sense of touch and security. That sense of touch is SO important.
Figure out your Goal
Are you trying cut 1 out of 4 feedings out, are you trying to wean completely? Knowing your goal will help you determine the best course of action to take. The first thing you want to do is pick ONE to cut out first.
As an example, say you are nursing 4 times a day (morning, mid morning, afternoon and bedtime). In my opinion, morning and bedtime are the 2 hardest to wean, so I would pick one of the day time feedings to cut out first.
Don’t Offer, Don’t Refuse
As you begin, I would try not to make the elimination feeding a big deal. In the first couple days try just not offering to nurse and see if they are distracted enough by every day life just to forget. If not, maybe don’t refuse outright at first. Gauge what your child’s temperament is and get an idea what the weaning process might look like for you.
DISTRACTION
I think you’ll be surprised in the daytime how distracted babies can get by other things. It’s also pretty easy to distract them if you notice they are starting to get antsy. Be preemptive with a snack, show them a cool toy, take them on a walk in nature.
If you have a place that you typically nurse, stay away from there during the typical nursing time that you are trying to cut out. Some people have chairs or spots on the couch that they go to, to nurse. Stay away from those!! You don’t want baby to get the wrong idea.
Phase 2… Cutting out another one
Once you’ve successfully cut out of the feedings, do the same thing for the next one. In our example that would be the other daytime feeding. Just use the same tools already mentioned to help kick that session to the curb as well.
Distract, offer snacks, be gentle, and go as fast or slow as you and baby want.
Cutting Out The Morning Feed
Once your down to night and morning feed, the choice is really yours on which you want to cut next. Your child’s temperament might help you decide. For all of my kids, the morning feeding has been easier. I think that’s because you can wake up and immediately have breakfast or milk and in general they are decently rested and not quite as cranky as when they are tired at night.
If giving them milk or breakfast isn’t working as enough of a distraction, you can also make sure to get some good play in, in the morning, or take a walk. Again, the name of the game is distraction and redirection.
The Bedtime Feed
This is the one that can really give you a run for your money. One of the keys here is routine! You’ll also want to make sure that you add in those snuggles and really get in some good mommy & baby time into that routine. Because yes, they crave that touch!
You can start by offering a bottle at bedtime instead of a nursing session, and maybe cuddle while they drink. I would also think about giving them a lovie or something to cuddle with at night so that they can still feel that sense of security.
If you want to do a more gradual approach, you can just cut down on the amount of time you are nursing. Instead of letting them have the buffet, let them nurse for only 7 minutes and then maybe only 5 then 3 until you’re done.
I have also heard of people singing a song when nursing and when the song is over nursing is over. Mom can sing the song as fast or slow as she would like. Eventually the song just cues sleep and she sings it before bed without nursing at all. (This is not something I’ve tried, but something I have heard from other moms that say it worked for them).
Another version of that is counting. Instead of using a song, you can just count to the number of your choosing. Again, I haven’t tried this, but I can imagine my now 3 year old just begging me not to count if I would have done this with her. If you try this and that happens to you, it might not be the best strategy for your baby and I would back off a bit. You don’t want the weaning experience to be traumatic or anxiety triggering for your little one.
Another thing you can do is have someone else take over the bedtime routine all together. This doesn’t have to be forever, but just until baby is weaned. They can do whatever routine they want, but you are just out of sight out of mind for that little bambino.
Talk to Baby
Although they are just babies and only one, and they can’t really communicate much with you, they understand more than you might think. Talking with your baby about what is going on and why you are weaning and empathizing with them can actually be hugely beneficial.
Weaning can be such an emotional time. Not just for baby, but also for you. It is OK and totally NORMAL to have all kinds of feelings. It can be truly liberating to get some of your time and body back, but it an also be sad losing a special bond that you start to miss. If they take to weaning really quickly it can even feel like rejection. It’s okay to feel whatever feeling you feeling. It’s your experience and your weaning celebration so it might feel different for you than the girl next door.
Be gentle with yourself and be gentle with baby during the weaning process. Go through weaning at your own pace and what works for you. GOODLUCK!